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Shake It Out

We went to see Florence + the Machine last night for Buzz Under the Stars Night 1.

It was blessed. Flo took me to church and shook my soul up, and soothed my weary heart with her voice.

It's my second time seeing her in concert, and I think each time is always going to be like a religious experience. It's magic when an artist moves you to tears over and over.

Yesterday was full of excitement and love and peace.

Today (tonight really), my funk has started to rear its ugly head again. I feel...listless and restless and ready to explode out of my skin.

I've been perusing my favorite website, Rebelle Society, reading beautiful essays and poetry that resonate deeply, reflecting my worries and fears and anguish back to me and forcing me to look. Forcing me to accept that I'm hurting and scared when I want to just keep pretending that I'm all good.

Accepting my slump, I feel, is the first step towards pulling out of it. The cycles of depression I go through are not fun- but I long ago accepted that they will happen. The best thing I can do is accept that it is happening, and focus on being gentle with myself, loving myself, and finding the beauty that surrounds me. (This is why Flo's music speaks so deeply to me...she is absolutely right, how big and how blue and how beautiful the world is, when I take the time to really look).

My creativity has been a bit dry lately, that ever ebbing and flowing energy that every artist experiences, but I can feel it welling back up inside me, to the point where I may burst into a thousand pieces. By pouring my soul out onto the page in the form of a blog, I am siphoning off a little bit of it- a slight release of pressure that is so needed at the moment, as I bounce from my "real" job to spending time with my family, to connecting with friends and the plans that never seem to end right now. At some point out it will spill over completely and I will spend an evening feverishly sewing and knitting and letting it pour out of me until 2 am. But that day is not today, not yet. In the interim, I will continue to breathe, to exist, to just be, and to focus on healing my soul and my head.

I'd love to give photo credit here, but it's pulled from Pinterest and the original site is gone. Quote credit, at least, goes to Albus Dumbledore/J.K. Rowling.





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