Skip to main content

Shake It Out

We went to see Florence + the Machine last night for Buzz Under the Stars Night 1.

It was blessed. Flo took me to church and shook my soul up, and soothed my weary heart with her voice.

It's my second time seeing her in concert, and I think each time is always going to be like a religious experience. It's magic when an artist moves you to tears over and over.

Yesterday was full of excitement and love and peace.

Today (tonight really), my funk has started to rear its ugly head again. I feel...listless and restless and ready to explode out of my skin.

I've been perusing my favorite website, Rebelle Society, reading beautiful essays and poetry that resonate deeply, reflecting my worries and fears and anguish back to me and forcing me to look. Forcing me to accept that I'm hurting and scared when I want to just keep pretending that I'm all good.

Accepting my slump, I feel, is the first step towards pulling out of it. The cycles of depression I go through are not fun- but I long ago accepted that they will happen. The best thing I can do is accept that it is happening, and focus on being gentle with myself, loving myself, and finding the beauty that surrounds me. (This is why Flo's music speaks so deeply to me...she is absolutely right, how big and how blue and how beautiful the world is, when I take the time to really look).

My creativity has been a bit dry lately, that ever ebbing and flowing energy that every artist experiences, but I can feel it welling back up inside me, to the point where I may burst into a thousand pieces. By pouring my soul out onto the page in the form of a blog, I am siphoning off a little bit of it- a slight release of pressure that is so needed at the moment, as I bounce from my "real" job to spending time with my family, to connecting with friends and the plans that never seem to end right now. At some point out it will spill over completely and I will spend an evening feverishly sewing and knitting and letting it pour out of me until 2 am. But that day is not today, not yet. In the interim, I will continue to breathe, to exist, to just be, and to focus on healing my soul and my head.

I'd love to give photo credit here, but it's pulled from Pinterest and the original site is gone. Quote credit, at least, goes to Albus Dumbledore/J.K. Rowling.





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feeling the run down

That is my life at the moment. We have been so busy- and it's not going to stop for awhile, at least another week. I told Jon today that there's a very large part of me that wants to say "Screw it" and splurge on a vacation for us this summer. My batteries need recharging. And for me, that means we get the fuck outta dodge and either go breathe in some mountain air or bury our toes in the sand at the Gulf. That means we go make memories as a family away from the every day bullshit. Either this... Or this...doesn't really matter to me, both are beautiful. I feel like I'm in a bit of a funk right now...not satisfied with work, feeling trapped and stuck. I can't be UN-stuck for awhile, so I'm maintaining and every day I get just a little more frustrated and anxious and sometimes it feels like I can't breathe. I also told Jon today that I can see the desire to buy an RV and just travel around the country, wandering. Of course that ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Not ashamed (of being a foodie)

This is the part where I would normally say "Dang it's been so long since I made a blog post!" But HA! It's only been 5 days! (I'm very proud of myself). I *meant* for it to be sooner, but between a migraine on Wednesday evening and horrid, horrid cramps last night, I got a bit delayed. I did make a fantastic dinner last night, and tonight as well. Last night was chicken milanese with potatoes, mushrooms, and roasted asparagus. I only took a picture of the potatoes and mushrooms though.  Mmm...cast iron cooking for the win, right here! Pictures of food are something that seem to pop up a lot in my instagram, which I guess makes me a foodie. But I'm okay with that, because food is amazing and I like to eat. Part of the reason I keep taking pictures of my food like a weirdo though, is because I finally learned how to cook actual "from scratch" meals, thanks to this lady right here:  Ree Drummond might be a genius. There on the right side, you...
Post a Comment
Read more

More like Sunday Blahday

That pretty much perfectly describes my Sunday so far. Our awesome Missouri weather is playing games with my head and sinuses (seriously, it was 65 on Wednesday, and last night it SNOWED, and tomorrow it's supposed to be 65 again), and it's got me feeling pretty run down today. Which is totally lame because.... I got this beauty in the mail today! The Singer Quantum Stylist 9960 <3 I'm in love already...I've managed to get her up and running, threaded, and some practice stuff sewn. After my Curvy, she is so quiet! And is it weird that I'm giving my machine a gender pronoun...? And yes, that's a Singer serger hiding back there. I don't use my serger nearly enough...my thread tensions have been jacked up for quite some time now, and no matter what I do, I can't seem to get it quite right...I end up having to sew an extra seam right next to the serged edge, which kind of defeats the purpose for time saving... Moving on though, I really wish...
Post a Comment
Read more